Things You Learn in the Bleachers

If you have ever heard the term "gym brat" you have probably been involved in athletics in some form or fashion.  A gym brat is the child of a coach who spends most of their free time roaming the gym and surrounding areas, typically without direct supervision.  I am a gym brat.  Since before I was born my mom coached high school volleyball, basketball and track.  While she coached I sat in the bleachers and here are some lessons I learned about life....

Hypocrisy is real...

If the other team runs the score up they are cheating jerks who should be kicked out of the league and probably the state. Your team runs the score up and it is letting the kids play.  Lesson: look at things from both sides...live with class.

Parents have rose colored glasses...

Seven of the last eight turnovers were made by the same athlete and she gets subbed out.  Their parent immediately becomes irrate because their child didn't do a single thing wrong.  The parent of the kid that got off the bench always knew with time that dumb coach would see the star potential in their child.  Lesson: Parents never see things for what they really are because they have a crazy kind of love...no matter what, their child is a superstar

There is always a boss...

Officials are the boss of every sporting event...be mean to them and watch them show you how much power they have.  Officials also have a gift of matching parent to player.  I have seen plenty of games thrown by officials because of unruly parents. Lesson: Going crazy in front of the boss, even if you disagree, is never beneficial!

Some people are just mean...

I was in elementary school the last time I remember crying because of something the parents were saying about my mom.  I remember one of the moms telling the man "you know that's her daughter" he looked at me and said "I don't care who hears me!" Lesson: Some people in the world are just mean, you can't let them hurt your feelings because that's all they really want.

Fans are crazy...

Ever heard the term "fanatic?" It's defined as someone filled with zeal.  Doesn't sound bad, right?  Let the synonyms help you...zealot, militant, extremists.  Picture that word a little different now, don't you? Fan is short for fanatic...they are the crazy, in your face, I LIVE for this sport and through my child types.  You win, they love you.  You lose, they hate you.  Tournament days, they may go both ways.  Where's the lesson, you ask?  Pick your friends wisely, those that are fanatical usually aren't loyal.

Honesty is the best policy...

When you hear a coach say "I'm going to keep doing it until I get caught" you take notice.  My mom always told us "cheaters never prosper" and that's the truth!  I've seen lots of cheaters and I like to add this...if you can't even cheat and win maybe you ought to look at a different method. Lesson: Not all that sparkles is gold...in other words, make sure you trust the right people.

It takes a little more to be a champion...

Champion used to be a really popular brand.  My mom's basketball team had a shirt and saying that said "it takes a little more to be a champion" and it said everything about that team.  They were good athletes, but not amazing.  So why did they win? They would out work, out hustle and out heart any team they came up against.  Lesson: it takes a little more to be a champion.

It's a special place to be a coach's kid.  When they are a good coach, like my mom is, it's like being with someone famous in Texas gyms.  "That's your mom?  I remember when she went to the final four with that little team...she can out coach anybody"  There is a lot of pride in being a coach's kid and there is a lot of heartache.  Next week, my little boy becomes the coach's kid for the first time.  I know there will be hurt feelings, but I hope he also gets that feeling of pride when he sees his mom coach...or at least his Mimi because there is no better coach in all of Texas!

I'm not so sure about this...

A few weeks ago I read a blog entry that was written by a pastor and has been passed around on Facebook, mostly with comments like "Finally the truth" or "So true."  I read the post.  I didn't like it.  I thought it was false and I moved on.  But it has been stuck in my head and in my heart ever since.  

Here's the post so you can read it for yourself:  http://natepyle.com/confronting-the-lie-god-wont-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle/
It's called "Confronting the lie" but I do believe he replaced what he believed to be a lie with an even bigger one.  To summarize, this guy has had a terrible series of events in his life. He is vague about most of them other than his wife's pregnancy that needed to be terminated.  In other words, his life was at a low point.  And this is what he says after listing a series of "Why, God?" questions... 

"Not only am I okay asking those questions, but I think there is something holy and sacred in being courageous enough to ask them.  Don’t be fooled, those questions are only to be asked by the courageous."

He then goes on a mini, angry tirade about people using useless sayings and follows it up with this:

"It is more courageous to ask the hard questions of God and wait for him to answer than it is to find hope on the side of coffee mug.  Asking those questions requires courage because, in the end, it is very likely they will not be answered."

OK, first let me say that if I attended this church, I wouldn't go back.  Second, I believe this is dangerous advice.  Third, have you ever heard of a little guy named Job?  He got a whole book in the Bible, so I'd call him a legit guy.  Here is what God says about him when the devil is looking for someone to tempt, "Have you considered My servant Job?  No one else on earth is like him, a man of perfect integrity, who fears God and turns away from evil."  Then the devil went on to destroy Job's life.  He destroyed Job's wealth, family, friends, health...basically everything Job had except his life was taken from him.  In the middle of it all, Job's wife says "Why don't you curse God and die?"  Encouraging advice, right?  But Job doesn't curse God and he doesn't die and God remains pleased with Job until this happens....Job and his friends question God, but Job 38:1 says that God answered JOB, and the answer, my friends, is scary "“Who is this that obscures my planwith words without knowledge?Brace yourself like a man,I will question you,and you shall answer me.“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?Tell me, if you understand.Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know.Who stretched a measuring line across it?On what were its footings set,or who laid its cornerstone—while the morning stars sang togetherand all the angels shouted for joy?"

God continues for 4 chapters, questioning Job.  In chapter 42, Job says "I know that You can do anything and no plan of Yours can be thwarted.  You asked "Who is this who conceals My Counsel with ignorance?" Surely I spoke about things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.  You said, "Listen now, and I will speak.  When I question you, you will inform Me."  I had heard rumors about You, but now my eyes have seen You.  Therefore I take back my words and repent in dust and ashes."

Job, a man God said was special, couldn't question God.  Why then would it be acceptable for us, the non-special, to question God.  To ask "Why?" I have to tell you, that is a scary question and I don't want God to question me.  You may read this and think I am too young to understand what this man is going through.  Maybe.  But I know this: I never want God to say to me "Brace yourself like a man and I will question you." 

Here's the part I think people get confused on...God is the ultimate parent.  He's not "Dad of the month" or "Dad of the year," He's Dad of the Universe, people!!!  And just like we, as parents, don't run around making bad things happen to our kids to see if they will still love us, God doesn't make bad things happen to us to see if we will still love Him.  Will bad things happen? YES.  Will God know they are happening before they even do? YES.  Will those bad things still hurt even if we are Christians? ABSOLUTELY!  Lies hurt. Losing your dreams hurts.  Death hurts.  Even when you believe in God, bad things hurt.  But if Jesus could know he was about to be crucified and not say "WHY ME?" Then who are we to ask?  

There are days, weeks, months and sometimes years that are hard times in our lives.  I have lived them and I know I will live more of them, but I don't want to ask "Why?" because I can't stand the questions in return.  If you can, ask away, but read Job 38-41 to get a taste of what you're looking forward to and you just may reconsider.  Instead I go back to this:

Psalm 23:4

"Even when I go through the darkest valley,

I fear no danger,

for You are with me."

That answer is better than any question I can come up with.  Wherever I go, God goes with me and that I cannot question.

Sorry I can't get that crazy highlighting to go away!!