Mixing Holidays

Since Cal was born I have never had to consider what we will do for the holiday seasons, we had traditions.  I would think about it, decide, notify my son, and that's just what we did.  I never had to consult another person.  This year things are different.  I'm trying to deal with it gracefully.  Being married is an amazing blessing that I enjoy more every day, but I don't like change and I like to do what I want, when I want, how I want...very mature, I know.

For Thanksgiving, Cal and I have done one of two things...gone camping or gone to Alabama.  We went to Alabama to visit my grandfather and his family, but my grandfather passed away last year.  I love to go camping in November and December.  Nature is amazing in the early winter and I love to watch it.

For Christmas, we have dinner at Luby's then Christmas Eve Service where Cal sings in the choir, but we are no longer at Abiding Word so he won't be singing.  Christmas morning we open gifts and mom makes waffles, but we don't live with mom anymore.

When I was growing up, we went to Shreveport to see my mom's family.  My dad always went along, although at the time he did not really love my mom's family and that made the trips generally uncomfortable.  Around the end of elementary school, my mom told my dad he didn't have to go anymore and in mom speak that meant "don't come" and Shreveport became a wonderful safe haven for me.  I loved to be with my grandmother, she gave the most amazing hugs.  Thanksgiving and Christmas was always with Granny and it was amazing, but she died 10 years ago.

So here we are in October 2013, trying to decide what to do for Thanksgiving and Christmas and well, I just feel like crossing my arms and stomping my foot and saying "I'm going to Shreveport," but what I want is not there.  I could go to Alabama, but who I go to visit is gone.  I could go camping, but my husband would have to stay home.  Donnie has his own family and traditions and I am sure his family would prefer that I not completely wreck their family traditions.  I am not the best "in-law" and am completely aware of this.

So I am having to figure out new traditions and to start with, we are having my dad's family Thanksgiving at our house.  My dad's parents are in their 80's and don't need to try to cook and clean for a house full of people so they are coming here.  Christmas...well I want what I want when I want it....so that's for another day! :)

What do you do all day?

What do you do all day?  This question irritates me.  It's right up there with "Don't you get bored just sitting at home?"  At first, I answered these questions with the list of things I had done that day, none of which included "sitting around" but now I realize that's not what people want to hear so I normally don't bother with much of an answer.  What amazes me is that most of these questions come from women, from mothers.  We have come to a time in our society when being a homemaker is a boring or less important position than a working mother.  I believe people in my generation were raised to believe that staying home wasn't equal.  The push for equality in the workplace led to inequality at home.  I continue to be amazed that it is men who have the most respect for women staying home and are more likely to say I wish my wife would/could do that.  
I am a homemaker because I want to be, not because my husband makes me or because I can't find a job.  I want to pick my son up from school and be able to love him.  When I was working, I was so tired from loving other people's children that I had a hard time loving my own.  I want to be able to make dinner and lunches for my family.  There are some people who can work and do those things happily and successfully, I'm not one of those people.  I want to be fully present for my family and to be about my family.  I want to build a home and life and a place where my son, even when he is older, knows is a safe haven.  I want a home not a house and because of that I choose to be a homemaker.  I do not look down on people for choosing to work and we, especially as women, should not look down on those that choose to stay out of the workforce.  Each has their place and time.  
I do not particularly care for the term "stay at home mom" mainly because to most people it means moms who "sit around."  Homemaker used to be an occupation.  The dictionary defines a homemaker as "a wife who does work (such as sewing, cleaning, or cooking) at home and usually does not have another job outside the home; one who manages a household especially as a wife and mother" Yep, that's me.  That's what I want to be and do.  So, do I work?  Yes, I am a homemaker.